My old nursemaid, Mrs. Chucklehenny, returned from
the dead only to be bonked on the head by the horrible Lizard Monster when it
fell down the elevator shaft. Oh, the rotting carcal stench!
I kept telling her, "Don't eat its brains! Don't eat its brains!"
But a big piece of brain fell into her mouth and she began to chew.
I was aghast.
"Um," she slurped. "That's not so bad."
Everybody knows what happens next:
She metamorphoses into another horrible Lizard Monster,
and the two of them go at it, bashing each other on my bathroom floor, their
windup keys grinding like hysterical transmissions.
Who wants to watch this thing again when we've seen it a hundred times
The lizard, the woman, the elavator shaft -- and me trapped alone in this
Copyright 1995, Sandy McIntosh (Reprinted by Permission)