The man you dreamt of last night, more than likely
represents the male you have the most important emotional bond with.
Dreams are ways in which the feeling urges which unconsciously direct so many
of our decisions express themselves, are gratified, or are explored. Therefore
the male, who appears almost as frequently in a woman's dreams as her first
love, is the man she is fantasying a romance with. For instance, Christine's
deepest impulse was to be wholly in a relationship with her husband Andrew.
Difficulties he experienced in regard to sex frequently led him to withdraw his
warmth, leaving Christine uncertain about where their life together was going.
While alone visiting her family in Australia, she met David, her own age, an old
friend of the family, and separated from his wife. As Christine was depending on
friends and relatives instead of hotels, David offered his own place. Christine
turned it down, but she dreamt she was secretly meeting David. The meetings were
very pleasant, except that Christine constantly had the 'looking over her
From the dream Christine realised that she was at least considering the idea
of looking for another partner. There was still too much good in her
relationship with Andrew, however, for her to sever connections with him and be
wholehearted about another man. This is why the meetings in the dream were
'secret'. In that situation though, there could be no real pleasure for her
either with Andrew or another man. The dream was therefore a way in which she
experimented with directions, and her reactions to them, in a safe way. It is
like being able to do something quite different in life than you are doing, then
wake up and find you are safely back with no changes. You are then left with the
possibility of changing direction, or maintaining the present one.
Sometimes dreams about the man in your life may be attempting to express
something you are trying not to see. Sarah repeatedly dreamt that her boy
friend, Ron, had died, and she was attending his funeral. The dreams disturbed
her and she wondered if they might be a prediction. Then she met another man
whom she liked, and realised she had been trying to get away from Ron for ages,
but didn't know how to do it. In fact many women have dreams or fantasies about
their partner dying, sometimes out of worry, but frequently because it offers an
easy way out of feeling trapped. In this way they are secretly hoping that no
effort of will and confrontation will be demanded of them.
Of course an older woman dreaming her man is dead or dying will probably have
a very different underlying cause for the dream. This may straightforwardly be
an anxiety dream about their man dying - men die before women on average. The
dream may be a way of looking at this and exploring or dealing with feelings in
connection with the possibility that you partner's life will end before yours.
Ninety nine percent of the time, dreams are not prophesying what is going to
happen to the man in your life. What they do pictorialise or dramatize is what
you are feeling or fearing about him. A number of women have told me they
frequently dream their man leaves them for another woman. I haven't observed
those particular men leaving yet, or even being unfaithful. What is obvious
though is that the women who have these dreams experience a lot of unnecessary
anxiety about being left. Therefore they dream about it, partly because that is
what they are feeling, and partly as a safety valve for unexpressed emotions.
Tony crisp is the author of such books as Dream Dictionary, The Instant Dream
Book, and Dreams and Dreaming. Visit him on http://dreamhawk.com For more
information about dreams and death, or dreams in general, see Tony Crisp's book
Dream Dictionary, or New Dream Dictionary. Also visit http://dreamhawk.com
For more information about dreams and death, or dreams in general, see Tony
Crisp's book Dream Dictionary, or New Dream Dictionary.
Also visit http://dreamhawk.com